Monday, April 26, 2010

Epic Fail

SPOILER ALERT: ANDY ROONEY-STYLE GRUMPFEST AHEAD

Okay, so I've officially had it with the overuse of the word "epic."

I'm pretty sure it's a marketing requirement these days that every piece of copy written about every game franchise from God of War to Pokemon has to describe the story, setting, characters, and/or gameplay as "epic" at least once.

That's all as it should be; what would marketing copy be if it weren't always hyperbolizing?

But for crying out loud, people, stop feeding into it. Not every goddamn Halo 3 headshot is "epic." That one YouTube video of the kid faceplanting off the trampoline is not "epic." The party you and your bros had last night where Donnie did like 15 Jagerbombs and passed out on the porch and one of the bros drew hairy balls on his forehead was not "epic."

This is what the word "epic" means. The term does not apply to Donnie's balls-adorned forehead unless one or more of the following conditions obtain:

1) Said balls are 50 feet tall.
2) You are describing a lengthy poetic composition about the heroic bro who drew said balls.
3) Said heroic bro had to accomplish Herculean feats of bravery in order to draw said balls.

As an English major, I'm sad to see this once-meaningful word diluted to this level of douchebaggery. As a gamer, I'm just burned out. There's only so much room in my mind for grandeur and awe, and space is at a premium right now.

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